I am quiet. That's how most everyone outside of my immediate family would describe me. Being a human being with many facets, "quiet" isn't exactly the noun I would choose to describe myself if I could only pick one (or two, or three...). Who would want that to define them?
Charlie is dynamic! Esther is gracious. Mary is inspiring! All of these nouns paint a picture of the person; you can instantly imagine the different ways in which they make these nouns true. Service, adventure, guts, kindness, self-sacrifice, imagination. The list goes on and on.
Morgan is quiet.
Doesn't exactly paint a very detailed picture, does it?
I began to fulfill this expectation others had by... being quiet. I walked quietly, I talked softly (though, in my defense, my voice is the same octave of white noise and I just can't change that), opened and closed doors gently. It became habit. I was quiet even when I was alone.
I realized that I am holding myself back from, well, being myself. I would generally find it hard to warm up to people as, I assumed, if they saw all of me right away they would run away and never speak to me again. But, so what? I have realized (praise the Lord) that if they DO run away screaming, because they see me for me, I am not worse off for this. Why would I want to be friends with someone who requires me to be someone other than myself? I wouldn't. I don't.
Therefore, I have come to the conclusion (with the help of a dear friend telling me this straight out...) that I need to stop hiding myself from people. It's ok if my heals click when I walk down an echoing hallway. It's ok if the door makes a noticeable noise when I close it; doors tend to do these things. It's ok if someone doesn't get my humor. It's ok if someone thinks I'm weird. But, it's also ok if someone thinks I'm funny, or awesome, or pretty, or smart, or interesting. Either way, it's ok.
So, to run the risk of being a big cliche, I made a resolutions list. I think it's well needed as I have been a bit adrift as of late... I wonder where my direction in life is without actively perusing any direction! So, in an attempt to remedy this (and conquer the aforementioned "quiet" stigma), I made a list of things I wish to accomplish by years end. I want to shy (see what I did there?) away from my previous, drifting persona and truly embody me.
+ Blog/journal at least once a week, to keep track of my blessing & hardships alike & to see the growth I made by years end
+ Take pictures at least once a week (probably to accompany said blog)
+ Have a steady client base/income with photography (hungthemoonphotography.com, check it out people)
+ Be myself (Hopefully, this doesn't need further explanation)
+ Get in shape & stop whining about being "fat" (I don't really think I'm fat, don't worry)
+ Go on a mission trip (Africa?)
+ Deepen my relationship with God and spend regular time with Him/Learn more about His and Jesus personality to better know them and myself
+ Make new friends (again, see above)
+ Visit a new city (New York!!)
+ Spend less time on Facebook. Seriously.
+ Keep my website updated (aka, stop being so lazy)
+ Have a real savings accounts (aka, limit the shopping sprees)
+ Pay off my credit cards (aka, limit the shopping sprees)
+ Be content
+ Be courageous
+ Stop stressing so much. Make a point to see goodness in the situation.
+ Get rid of my Creepers. Seriously, it's getting out of control (aka, be assertive)
