Like I said earlier, I have an amazing job. Well, maybe that's not the right wording... My job itself is insanely lame. I have amazing bosses. I have been working here for 3 years now and it has been one of the biggest blessing in my life. When I was first hired, I was SO bad at the job. I mean, I was REALLY, really bad. I honestly can't believe I didn't get fired within my first month... But, God being as good as He is, gave my bosses grace (or blinders) and let me develop into the well-loved employee that I am today. Like I said, it has been such a blessing. From being able to make my own hours, getting raises and bonuses at just the right time, paid vacation even though I'm part-time, free lunches, and so much more, I have been truly spoiled.
I was talking to someone a month or so ago about my job and how it has ruined me for future employment. I couldn't imagine going to a place that would require 40 hours/week and actual work output! You know, a grown-up job. But, then something amazing happened.
A couple weeks ago, I went on a much needed, long, far too costly vacation that didn't last long enough (they never do). When I got back, I made my way back to work, sat at my desk, started the day and felt.... restless. I had felt restless before but, this was different. I was done. I was no longer attracted to all of my perks. I was ready to move on and use my time to positively impact others or, in the least, do something I enjoyed. And I didn't care if that required 40 hours a week or little pay!
Then, I had a coffee date with my wonderful best friend (my coffee dates with Leah are almost always Divine appointments) and she gave me the analogy of a mother bird pushing the baby birds out of the nest. I have been so stressed about finding a new source of employment but I am also so comforted to know that this is all part of God's plan. I never thought I'd be able to say goodbye to my current job but I am so thankful that God has given me the restlessness and, as a result, the strength to step out. I don't know where He will be sending me but I know that He will provide a place and a way.
Thank you, Father, for finally shoving me out of the nest.
July 31, 2011
The Waiting Game...
Silence.
It's one of the worst things to be met with. Answers provide direction and/or closure. You got the job. You didn't make the cut. Yes, I'll marry you. You have two weeks to live. Though not all of these outcomes are not ideal, at least you know what to expect. You don't have to replay every possible scenario in your head. You don't have to wait anymore.
Waiting
Sometimes [99% of the time] I feel like that is all I do. My plan and God's plan have not intersected an awful lot over the course of my life. I planned on graduating and getting married at 22. He planned on me being single and still in school. I planned on using my time wisely, helping people, working in an area that wasn't just a job but a way to reach people who were lost. He planned on me keeping the job I have and waiting for further instruction as the clock continued to click, never slowing; sometimes I think it sped up...
My job has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am not utilized like I want to be but I couldn't ask for a better situation or better bosses. Every time I need something, God uses it to provide for me. I also am not whining about God not answering my prayers. He does. I pray for guidane or a sign about photography and He will provide one. But I have to wonder, why in the world is it taking so long?!
I know given circumstances that I am currently in, He is working inside me and molding me (Ps 66:10: For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver). I am so very grateful for this. Though the situation may be painful, I know from past experience that He is using it to grow me and bring me closer to Him as He is the one I depend on for my strength.
All this being said, I am still waiting. I see these quotes that provoke action. I see my friends doing amazing things and seeing their dreams come to life. I am so envious of them. I want to see my dreams come true. I want to know which dreams are the ones He has placed on my heart so I can stop wondering which path I am suppose to take. Or when that path will ever be in front of me.
I long for the moment when I hear, "You know that thing you've been waiting for? Well, here it is! Sorry it took so long but you'll understand why soon enough." Oh, how glorious that moment will be! Until then, I'll trust in Him knowing that He only has my best intentions in mind and that He is always faithful and provides everything at just the right moment.
And until then... I'll wait.
It's one of the worst things to be met with. Answers provide direction and/or closure. You got the job. You didn't make the cut. Yes, I'll marry you. You have two weeks to live. Though not all of these outcomes are not ideal, at least you know what to expect. You don't have to replay every possible scenario in your head. You don't have to wait anymore.
Waiting
Sometimes [99% of the time] I feel like that is all I do. My plan and God's plan have not intersected an awful lot over the course of my life. I planned on graduating and getting married at 22. He planned on me being single and still in school. I planned on using my time wisely, helping people, working in an area that wasn't just a job but a way to reach people who were lost. He planned on me keeping the job I have and waiting for further instruction as the clock continued to click, never slowing; sometimes I think it sped up...
My job has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. I am not utilized like I want to be but I couldn't ask for a better situation or better bosses. Every time I need something, God uses it to provide for me. I also am not whining about God not answering my prayers. He does. I pray for guidane or a sign about photography and He will provide one. But I have to wonder, why in the world is it taking so long?!
I know given circumstances that I am currently in, He is working inside me and molding me (Ps 66:10: For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver). I am so very grateful for this. Though the situation may be painful, I know from past experience that He is using it to grow me and bring me closer to Him as He is the one I depend on for my strength.
All this being said, I am still waiting. I see these quotes that provoke action. I see my friends doing amazing things and seeing their dreams come to life. I am so envious of them. I want to see my dreams come true. I want to know which dreams are the ones He has placed on my heart so I can stop wondering which path I am suppose to take. Or when that path will ever be in front of me.
I long for the moment when I hear, "You know that thing you've been waiting for? Well, here it is! Sorry it took so long but you'll understand why soon enough." Oh, how glorious that moment will be! Until then, I'll trust in Him knowing that He only has my best intentions in mind and that He is always faithful and provides everything at just the right moment.
And until then... I'll wait.
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