I'm Going Where?...

I'm OCD. I'll admit it. It's something I've dealt with for many, many, many years now. I used to be absolutely crazy (you have no idea...) but, as I've grown and matured, it has become more manageable and the few things I do freak out about are usually somewhat sensical. With the tiny exception of one....

Blood. Blood freaks me out. Not in the, "I'm going to faint if I get a paper cut" sense. It freaks me out in the, "Oh my gosh, I just got AIDS from staring at that red smudge!" sense. I understand that this makes me pathologically disturbed but, I, for the most part, can't help it. And blood seems to follow me! Far too many times I've looked down in a public restroom to see a pool (ok, maybe not a "pool"...) of blood staring back up at me. I mean, obviously this person had AIDS and it has now been passed onto me through staring at it or stepping on/in it. Obviously...

Given this insane fear, Africa has been a huge irrational fear of mine, as well. It is known to me as AIDS Country. I figure it's in the air and you'll become infected just by stepping outside (again, I understand how crazy I am). Just thinking about Africa would give me anxiety. And then, something funny happend. God can be SO funny sometimes...

I've wanted to go on a mission trip for some time and I always figured it'd be some place like Mexico or the like. Nowhere TOO crazy, right? Well, lately, Africa kinda kept popping up, both in my mind and externally... A week or two ago, I received an e-mail from my small group leader about a trip she would like us to go on... to Africa. AFRICA! A couple years ago, I would have laughed and said, "Yeah, right!" and moved on. But this time, I didn't say no so quickly. In fact, I didn't say no at all. I said yes. I said YES. Oh, what have I gotten myself into?

Well, technically I said I'd pray about it, was filled with anxiety (common theme with me? I think so), then, a couple days later, officially decided it was what I was going to do. This is absolutley amazing to me. God has been loving on me left and right, answering prayers, growing me, maturing me spiritually and, as a result, in every other way. I no longer fear becoming an "adult" like I did, oh, a few months ago (another post for another time). I cannot think of another place in the entire universe where I would need to depend on God more than in Africa. I mean, just thinking about the mosquitoes.... This is going to be one amazing, crazy, trying, enlightening adventure and I cannot wait to be used by Him and to see myself on other side of it.